The Government is Ruining Your Showers—On Purpose
Your Showerhead is Lying to You
Nothing says “good morning” like stepping into a shower that spits on you. You expect a forceful stream, but instead, you get a weak drizzle that barely dislodges yesterday’s grime. This isn’t bad plumbing. It’s a decades-long government scheme, forcing you to spend more time under a pathetic stream of water while pretending it’s good for the planet.
For 30 years, the Department of Energy and the Environmental Protection Agency have micromanaged your morning routine, convinced that federal flow mandates and showerhead restrictions will somehow save the world. But science—and common sense—say otherwise. Research shows that high-pressure showers actually use less water because they get the job done faster. But instead of fixing their mistake, regulators double down.
The Great Shower Sham
The war on shower pressure began in 1992, when the Energy Policy Act slapped a 2.5-gallon-per-minute (gpm) limit on shower heads. Then came the 2013 crackdown: If your shower had multiple nozzles, that 2.5 gpm had to be split among them. Trump reversed the rule in 2020. Biden put it back in 2021. Now, we’re back in a world where weak showers are mandatory and common sense is illegal.
Meanwhile, a University of Surrey study found that higher-pressure showers actually reduce water consumption. A strong stream rinses you off quickly. A weak one forces you to linger, wasting more water. The solution should be obvious. But bureaucrats don’t like admitting they were wrong.
The Underground Rebellion
America is not a nation of rule-followers. When faced with pitiful pressure, homeowners have fought back. Google “how to remove a shower flow restrictor,” and you’ll find thousands of guides. The most common method? Unscrew the shower head, pull out the rubber washer, and use a small screwdriver or drill to remove the plastic restrictor lodged inside. A five-minute fix that turns your shower from a disappointing drizzle into a real cleanse. Manufacturers—knowing that nobody wants a sad drizzle—design many models so you can “fix” them yourself. Some retailers even sell full-pressure showerheads under the table, dodging federal oversight like Prohibition-era moonshiners.
This isn’t just about comfort. It’s about dignity. It’s about not standing in the shower, pawing shampoo out of your hair while a water-saving government stooge tells you to be grateful.
The Real Water Wasters
If Washington really cared about water conservation, they’d start with the billions of gallons lost to leaks every year. Texas alone hemorrhages 132 billion gallons due to crumbling infrastructure—roughly the same amount needed to supply every household in the state for months. Nationwide, the EPA throws up its hands and admits the number is in the “trillions.” Nationwide, the EPA throws up its hands and admits the number is in the “trillions.”
Meanwhile, data centers guzzle billions to cool servers. AI-driven companies are making it worse. Industrial agriculture continues to drown fields in unchecked water use. And yet, the government wants to focus on whether your shower is too enjoyable.
Fixing the Madness
Enough is enough. Let people choose their own shower pressure. Regulators should acknowledge the science, admit their mistake, and allow high-pressure, low-flow options that actually work. Until then, Americans will do what they do best—find a workaround.
Because nobody wants to start their day being humiliated by a showerhead—a daily reminder that misguided regulation can take even life’s simplest pleasures and turn them into bureaucratic failures.
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Jack Beckett | Senior Writer, Charlotte Mercury
Fueled by black coffee and a deep resentment for weak showers, Jack Beckett writes about the issues that actually matter. If it’s happening in Charlotte, he’s covering it—whether it’s zoning fights, political nonsense, or the crime against humanity that is low-flow plumbing. Find more of his work at cltmercury.com, covering everything from politics to real estate to CMPD updates. Want to argue about shower pressure? Hit us up on X.com, or as we call it, Twix.
